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Communicating & talking skills

Communication skills are an essential part of your child's overall development. Your child needs to be able to hear and understand what is being said to them and then use their verbal language skills to respond. In addition, they will learn to aid their communication using non-verbal skills such as body language, gestures, facial expressions.

Every child’s rate of speech and language development is different. However, knowing what you should expect, and when can be helpful. Take a look at the links below for what your child might be doing at the different ages and stages.

If you are concerned about your child’s speech and language development, the link below shows the support that is available and things that you and others can do to help. You can also find up-to-date information about how NHS Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin is supporting children and young people who have Special Educational Needs & Disabilities (SEND).

What might my child be doing?

Newborns 0-3 months

  • Your 1 month old can hear you and knows your voice

Babies 3-12 months

  • From 6 months of age, they can tell how you are by feeling the tone of your voice and look on your face

Toddlers 1-3 years

  • Initially, your child will have a better understanding of what is being said to them compared to what they can actually say.
    Commonly, they will respond to their own name and understand 'no' from 12 months of age
  • They will start to understand some commonly used single words and short phrases by this age. For example, 'Bye-Bye', 'Night, night', 'bath time',  and 'Oops-a-Daisy'. 

Preschool 3-5 years

  • At 3 years, they will understand short spoken sentences e.g. 'Where's big teddy?'. 
  • At around 4  years of age, they will understand most simple things you say and will follow instructions with 2-3 steps about familiar things e.g. 'go to your bedroom and get your jumper'

Newborns 0-3 months

  • Crying and making coo noises

Babies 3-12 months

  • In this period they will initially coo and laugh and play with sounds such as babbling ('ma-ma-ma-ma'). They will do this in a conversational manner where they will take turns with you to 'talk'. From 6 months, your baby will be vocalising tunefully, using different volumes and sounds e.g. ga-brrrr-le-dada-mmmm'
  • From 9 months, they will be making longer sequence of sounds which might sound like normal speech often called jargon

Toddlers 1-3 years

  • Gradually, their babbling or jargon will start to include real words. At 15 months old, they might be able to say a few words
  • From 18 months onwards, your child's ability to learn new words explodes to include familiar objects and people, body parts and animal noises. You might have difficulty understanding them initially, especially when they mix babbling with real words
  • By 2 years of age, your toddler might be able to say 'I', 'you' and 'me' and use sentences with 2-3 words e.g. 'Mummy drink'
  • At 3 years, your child will be able to use sentences of 3-5 words and start asking 'why' to pretty much everything. They will know their name, age and a few colours

Preschool 3-5 years

  • At 3 years old, your child might be able to tell a simple story such as what has really happened during the day. Initially they will need help to put things in the correct order e.g. Child: 'I go to shop' Parent: 'and what did we buy at the shop?' Child: 'bread'. Later, as their imagination develops, they will start telling 'made up' stories
  • By 4 years of age, your child will speak in longer sentences of around 5-6 words. Other people will understand what she/he is saying most of the time
  • By 5 years of age, they should be talking quite fluently

Newborns 0-3 months

  • From 6 weeks of age, your baby will startle with a loud noise. They will start to make eye contact with you when you feed them. They may smile

Babies 3-12 months

  • From 3 months, your baby will turn their head to a sound and will quieten to a familiar voice
  • From 6 months your baby will be showing more emotion and copying your sounds, facial expressions and gestures. For example 'raspberries', laughing, squealing, growling and using gestures (e.g. putting their arms up when they want to be carried)

Toddlers 1-3 years

  • As their language is just developing, they might use a variety of gestures and noises to help their communication, such as:
    • To ask for something (ey contact pointing)
    • To let you know what they think (shake head and push spoon away when they have had enough food)
    • To demonstrate understanding (nod, eye contact etc.)

  • As your child learns to talk, they will start copying how adults talk in conversation. So their voice may go up at the end of a question, or they might start frowning and wagging a finger if they are telling you off

  • At 3 years old, they will start learning how to take turns when speaking and you might be able to have a chat with them

Talk with your child, naming and talking about everything and anything. From counting out loud, the steps as you walk down the stairs, to telling them what piece of clothing you are folding when you are doing the laundry. Even if you think your child doesn't understand, talking about what is happening in your daily lives will increase the number of words your child hears. Repetition does help.

Remember to keep your words and sentences short and simple. Try not to bombard them. Take turns to talk. Make sure that you leave some 'gaps' in your talking so that your child has a chance to answer you. 

Build your child's communication skills by:

- Noting and commenting on their interest e.g. 'Look a dog. Dog is running. Dog is happy. Bye bye, Dog.' 

- Giving them time to respond back to you e.g. pause whilst looking them in the eye

- Avoid asking them questions. Instead, you say that words that they might say. For example, 'oh, you're hungry.  You want some food. You want a cracker'.

- Actively listening to what they have to say

- Model the correct answer whilst ignoring what was wrong e.g. if they say whilst looking at a lorry 'look, bus', you would respond "yes it is a lorry"

- Build on what they have said e.g. "Look it's a red bus. I see a red coat. I see a red post box. What can you see?

  • Sing to them. Children love the predictability of simple, repetitive songs especially those with actions.
  • Start reading to them at an early age. Link the words to the pictures in the book and also in your own lives. As they get older, pointing to the words as you say them helps them understand the link between written and spoken words to develop their skills in literacy

 

Click here to watch a short video with more information.

All children are different when it comes to developing language skills. If you feel there is a difference between your child and other children of a similar age, be reassured that most will catch up. However, it is best to seek professional advice if you see any of the following signs:

When your newborn doesn't:

  • respond to sudden loud noises e.g. ambulance siren, dog barking.
  • turn their heads towards the sound itself.
  • isn't making sounds or responding to loud noises.

By 12 months of age if your baby isn't:

  • turning their heads to soft sounds
  • trying to communicate with you in a variety of ways using sounds, gestures, eye contacts, and/or words, particularly when needing help or wanting something.

By 3 years old, if your toddler:

  • can't understand simple instructions/questions e.g. where's daddy?
  • isn't saying about 50 words
  • if more than half of their words are unclear
  • doesn't use their words and gestures to try and interact with you e.g. to tell you what they want or need, waving to indicated that they are saying goodbye.
  • uses words that are unusual and may be out of context e.g. not be able to link what they are saying with what is actually happening at the time and is copying words/phrases and saying them repeatedly
  • isn't combining two or more words together e.g. more drink
  • isn't pointing to objects to share their interest with others by 2 years of age

By 5 years old, if your child:

  • isn't combining words to make longer sentences to tell you what they need e.g. I want snack or unable to share their interests with you e.g. look, a bus
  • isn't understanding longer instruction e.g. pick up your cup and put it in the the sink
  • is not clear and able to be understood by most people
  • uses words unusually e.g. they may have more words than you can count, but they don't use them to talk to people, or if they have parrot like repetitive speech or if they continue to speak in a made up language that you can't understand
  • Takes and ues your hand as a means of getting what they want

When starting school:

  • you can't have a chat with them about things which interest them and you e.g. 'what would you like to have for dinner today?' 'What do you think mummy would like to do for her birthday?'

You should be concerned at any age if your child stops doing what they were previously able to do so.

If you think your child is having trouble with communicating and talking to you, discuss your concerns with a professional such as a health visitor, GP, nursery/school teacher who can provide advice and consider whether they may require a referral to a speech and language therapist or GP.

Visit our support pages to see the range of support options available.

To find up-to-date information about how NHS Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin is supporting children and young people who have Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), click here.

 

There are many sensory issues associated with sleep including:

  • Sensitivity to sound, touch, and visual stimuli which can be distracting and distressing and can affect the process of falling asleep.
  • Interoception difficulties, particularly recognising when hungry, full or thirsty or when the person is tired. 
  • Some children are more sensitive to foods like sugar, caffeine and additives which keep people awake.

Look at the bedroom environment to see what may be affecting their ability to go to sleep and stay asleep. Do their pyjamas and bedclothes feel comfortable, are they too hot or cold?  Is it too light or too dark, too noisy or too quiet? Perhaps it is too cluttered and stimulating. Think about your child’s diet. Are they eating too early or not having enough to eat? Are they eating food that can stimulate them close to bedtime. There can be added difficulties where children have restrictive diets but some simple adjustments of what is eaten and when can make a big difference. 

Click here for more information on sensory issues.
 

Sticking to the same routine helps your child to know what to expect at bedtime and helps them feel secure. It also helps to support your child’s internal body clock and keep it on track. The age related sleep advice and information on this website can help with establishing routines. Some children will benefit from using picture timetables, timers or social stories to help them understand their bed-time routine. More information about visual supports can be found on these websites

Visual Resources | Autism West Midlands 
Visual Supports | Autism Toolbox Autism Toolbox

Your child may be feeling overstimulated after a busy day and needs help to wind down, or their environment may be overstimulating with lots of toys, TVs and computers within reach. Avoiding TV and computers or hand-held devices an hour before bedtime can help your child to wind down. Activities that are good for the wind down period are jigsaws and colouring. Having a relaxing bath and milky drink can help some children, but for some children having a bath can over-excite them so they may need to have their bath earlier in the day.

Children who wake to use the toilet, wet the bed, or who wear nappies or pull-ups at night that need changing may have disturbed sleep. Eric, the children’s bowel and bladder charity are a good source of advice on this topic.

 

What might help 

Keeping a sleep diary 

A sleep diary can help you understand what may be causing difficulties with sleep. Fill it out every evening and record as much as you can. You can use it to spot patterns and make changes that may help. 

The Sleep Charity have templates you can download; one for teenagers and one for younger children. 

Seeking advice and help from sleep services 

There are organisations that can help you if you are having difficulties with your child’s sleep. There are many national organisations, including those who specialise in sleep for SEND families, and there are also community-based services in Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin. Click the link at the bottom of page to visit our support services page. 

Understanding sleep cycles 

The circadian sleep cycle is a 24-hour cycle that helps govern essential bodily functions especially the sleep-wake cycle. It plays a vital role in a person’s ability to sleep in one consolidated block of time at night and to stay awake during the day. As the sun sets in the evening, the brain begins producing melatonin, a hormone that induces sleepiness. Core body temperature also drops.

As melatonin and tryptophan (an amino acid which helps produce melatonin) are naturally produced in the body, there are things you can do to help their production.  Darkness helps to promote the production of melatonin which is why it is a good idea to put your child to sleep in a darkened room, and light emitting devices such as tablets and phones also can destroy Melatonin so should not be used for at least an hour before bed. New research shows that limiting exposure to screens and increasing physical activity levels during the day has a positive effect on children's overall physical, mental health and wellbeing, including sleep.

Setting a waking time consistently even in holiday times, called ‘anchoring’ the wake time, can help to reset the body clock over time. This should be accompanied with exposure to lots of light on waking to support circadian rhythm. 

Melatonin and tryptophan occur naturally in some foods and drinks such as milky drinks and cereals which is why having a milky drink before bed can help settling to sleep. For more information visit Diet & Sleep - The Sleep Charity

Prescriptions of melatonin

Behavioural strategies and practical solutions are the best way to address sleep difficulties, but if they are having a significant impact on your child’s ability to function, a drug form of melatonin is sometimes prescribed for neurodivergent children. As the drug’s function is to re-set sleep and wake cycles, it works best combined with good sleep hygiene practices. It is important that is it taken under medical supervision and not purchased on-line so that it is closely monitored for dosage and side effects. It should be prescribed for the shortest period necessary as the long-term effects of the drug on children’s development are not yet known. 
In Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin the Community Paediatric Service and the BeeU Service (CAMHS) can prescribe Melatonin for children and young people who meet ALL of the following criteria.

  1. the child/young person must be open to and being treated by the service due to a neurodevelopmental/mental health need (diagnosis not required)
  2. sleep issues are causing significant impact on the child/ young person, for example due to daytime sleeping or behavioural problems that are impacting daily functioning or educational attendance
  3. behavioural approaches have been tried and failed. These may have been offered by the service (where available) or by community sleep support services.

GPs are unable to prescribe Melatonin although they sometimes issue repeat prescriptions when prescribing has been started by a specialist (such as a paediatrician or child psychiatrist). 

Further support 

Click on the link below to visit a page with information about

  • national websites and sleep organisations
  • local community services in Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin.